Archive for the 'waylon' Category

‘Back in Black’ could be an acceptable wedding song

Published
by
ashley
on August 20, 2008
in friends, marques, tunes and waylon
. 2 Comments

Being than I am a 25 year old girl in a long-term relationship, with my best friends slipping rings on their fingers left and right, it is only natural that I consider what my own possible wedding will look like or contain.

I go back and forth on everything that’s important, like location and all of that, but I will say that I think this is the coolest thing in the world:

Vitamin String Quartet

Essentially, it’s a string quartet covering popular songs.  Some things are a little out there (do we really need a string quartet covering Janet Jackson?  Or Panic at the Disco?) but I really like their cover of “Neighborhood #1″ by the Arcade Fire.  Also, embarrassingly, the cover of “Somebody to Love” by Queen.  I wish they had a collection of David Bowie, though.

So if anyone is getting married soon… like YOU, Lorrie, you might want to consider downloading a few of these to play while your guests are waiting for you to show your face instead of playing silly piano songs.  Just don’t steal my Arcade Fire.

In the meantime, because I am a crazy cat lady who has plans to make her cat be her ring bearer, here’s a picture of the haughty male.  He already has his black and whites and everything:

News in brief

Published
by
ashley
on August 15, 2008
in apartment, books, i am ridiculous, marques and waylon
. 0 Comments

Neighbor thinks Christmas is early this year; is crazy

While driving home from a needless Target/Giant trip, Ashley glanced up at one of the two large apartment buildings in her apartment complex.

There, in one of the windows, brightly shining for all of Northern Virginia to see, was a Christmas tree and an brightly lit animatronic reindeer moving its head.

Ashley quickly checked the date on her cell phone, concerned that maybe she had fallen into a time warp on the way to Target.  The date read August 15, 2008.

Ashley then dismissed the neighbor as “batshit insane” and vowed to bring her camera next time she drove on that road at night to capture the insanity should a court case come to trial.

Book proves to be smarter than girl

Ashley is what you would call a voracious reader.  With a quickly-growing library of books and friendly neighborhood librarians who know her by sight, it is safe to say that she has mastered the art of reading a book.

Ashley started reading books when she was a mere two years old.  She quickly learned that if you read a book faster, you can read more books.  Thus, she is able to read the average novel in a few hours.  This is both a plus and a minus, as she can read lots and lots of books, but unfortunately, is too poor to buy enough to keep up.

Ashley checked out the book “House of Leaves” from a branch of the Fairfax County library last Wednesday.  The book had been recommended to her by both Amazon and various Metafilter people.  She picked it up Sunday evening and started to read it.

Today, Friday, August 18, she finally finished it while on the ride home on the metro.  She closed the book and then frowned a frown that would shrivel a pluot.  When asked by her boyfriend, Marques, if she enjoyed the book, she wailed, “I am stupid and I didn’t understand it, but the typography was cool.”

Perks returned the offending book to the library.  While the storyline was interesting, she felt the book was too smart for her and decided she should read a fluff book to rinse her mind off.

Cat spends evening glaring at master

When Waylon snuck out of his master’s house two weeks ago, Ashley decided to buy him a collar and tag.  Her reasoning being that Waylon is the best cat in the world, and anyone who found him would obviously want to keep him.  If he had a tag on, that would reduce that likelihood.

Ashley attached the tag on the collar and fastened it on Waylon’s neck.  Immediately, Waylon began to meow plaintively, pleading with Ashley to remove the collar.  When that didn’t work, Waylon began rubbing his body all over the carpet in a vain attempt to rub the collar off.

Finally, Waylon cowered in a corner of the living room and glared at his master while she played Mario Kart and ate hummus, oblivious to the fact that her beloved monster baby cat at that moment hated her.

Local kitchen flooded with water; tenants puzzled

Two tenants in the Northern Virginia area were puzzled to find a puddle of water near their refrigerator and pantry.  They mopped it up quickly, but the water returned day after day.

“WTF is going on?” one asked, trying desperately to staunch the flow.

The two were not able to contact their landlord immediately because their apartment was too messy.  Plans are being made to clean the apartment so the maintenance crew can locate the source of the problem.

“I hope they don’t have to open the refrigerator,” one remarked.  “There are about 8 bags of baby carrots gone bad up in that mess.”

I have returned triumphant

Published
by
ashley
on August 12, 2008
in family, friends, i am ridiculous, life, marques and waylon
. 0 Comments

Quick recap:

  1. 12 hours on the road = restless leg syndrome.
  2. We drove home the southern way, but returned back to DC the northern way. Google Maps shows the northern way as being 3 minutes shorter than the southern way. Google Maps is a liar. L-I-A-R.
  3. I did not get to eat any biscuits from Tudors, which was disappointing as I could honestly really go for a Dottie or even a Mary B right now. However, I did get to eat at Rio Grande, and it was delicious as always.
  4. As much as I enjoy seeing my family, and I honestly sincerely do, sometimes after extended periods, they grate on my nerves. Also it’s possible I have developed lung cancer from the amount of secondhand smoke I inhaled this weekend.
  5. I love kittens, and if I could have justified taking one back to DC with me, I would have. In. A. Heartbeat.
  6. Two Sheetz stops - one south, one north. Yum Sheetz. I love you.
  7. The wedding was absolutely beautiful, and very unique. Enough that when I plan my future wedding to Michael Phelps, I now find the bar has been raised. Well played, Tory. Well played.
  8. My best friend Tina is late for everything. EVERYTHING.
  9. Waylon did not stop crying when I got home. 4 straight hours of meowing. It is a good thing I did not bring home the kitten.

    I have tiny amounts of pictures, but first, I would like to say how fascinated I am about my search referrals this month. Somebody found my website by searching “cracker barrel and baked potatoes”. In response to that, I say this:

    Why would you go to Cracker Barrel and eat a baked potato? HASHBROWN CASSEROLE. Get with it.

    As well, I have “how to inventory ice cream”. Again, in response, as I am nothing if not helpful:

    I do not inventory my ice cream. I merely eat it. If your ice cream is hanging around your freezer long enough that you have to inventory it, you don’t deserve to be eating ice cream. Try sherbet.

    Searching for “white trash casserole tuna”, which is my favorite guilty pleasure meal ever. Here’s the recipe, in case you haven’t found it:

    White Trash Casserole

    ingredients: 1 prepared box macaroni and cheese (not the fancy kind with the cheese sauce, the neon orange powder kind), 1 can tuna, 1 can peas (or green beans), some ritz crackers/crushed potato chips.

    instructions: mix all of that up. top with crackers/chips. eat and revel in your glory.

    Finally, I have “my ex shares a phone plan with her”. Let me say I feel your pain, but on the opposite side, as we had to share our phone plan with Marques’s ex-girlfriend for over a year. This would not have been a problem, I don’t mind sharing at all, if not for the misplaced spite that forced his ex-girlfriend to run over our minutes every month. It was a very long and expensive period of time. I hope that you have resolved your issues with your phone plan, as we have, and we are all the happier for it.

    As well, my favorite search phrase is this: “i love you more than anything books are fun”

    That pretty much sums up most conversations I have with Marques. I love you more than anything, and books are fun. I want that on a t-shirt. Never say I’ve not warned you on what kind of a girlfriend I am.

    Hopefully pictures tomorrow, of mountains and kittens and friends.

    Tasty fries and sore thighs

    Published
    by
    ashley
    on August 3, 2008
    in cooking, friends and waylon
    . 2 Comments

    This weekend started off pretty poorly, but went uphill from there.

    Friday morning, I woke up as per usual, moaning and groaning because, well, it’s Friday and I wanted to go back to sleep.   Thursday evening was busier than usual, with spider genocide and ice cream.  We had to rush out to return a book to the library, plus get a McDonald’s ice cream cone (I don’t care what you say about McDonalds, Morgan Spurlock, I am a whore for their ice cream).  When we got home, there was a giant spider that had stretched its giant web across our door.  Me being me, I scream like a girl and cower on the other side of the apartment building, waiting for Marques to kill it.  He kills it with great fanfare, but unfortunately, amidst all of the confusion, our cat Waylon got out and we didn’t notice.

    I noticed on Friday morning, though, when I got up to pee and Waylon wasn’t immediately all up in my face.  We have a morning bathroom routine, you see, and I know it’s sick and weird, but my cat is really like my child.  I baby him, I give him goodnight kisses and treats and honestly, it’s just weird, my love for my cat.  And when he didn’t show up, I became concerned.  I started looking for him in the cabinets because sometimes he’ll crawl into a cabinet and we’ll shut it and he’ll just stay in there for hours and hours.  True story.  But he wasn’t there.  And we went outside, calling his name, expecting to see him totter up to us but no, no Waylon.

    I had kind of always rolled my eyes at those Lifetime movies where the woman’s child goes missing, and how the woman always goes completely ballistic, batshit crazy, but NOW I KNOW.

    This, compounded with the fact that my friend Cara was coming into town and I didn’t want to subject her to NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER treatment.

    I came home early on Friday and poked around the bushes some more.  Finally, I decided to just leave because I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax if I was home.  Cara and I metroed to Chinatown and ate Thai food at Kanlaya — I had the pad see ew, as always, and she ate pad gai, and we split vegetable tempura.  It was very, very good.  We weren’t able to finish everything, so we lugged around to-go boxes the rest of the evening.  After Thai, we went to K Street where I showed her my office building and then we walked a few blocks north to the Washington Post building (hey, we’re journalists).  Then we walked to the White House, front and back, and finally allll the way to the Washington Monument.  I wore flip-flops and let me just say, poor decision.

    We get home around 1 and I decide to go searching for Waylon again.  This time I use his ultra-secret-special nickname and he pops his little head out of the bushes.  I can only think of one time where I have felt a greater sense of relief in my life.

    So with Waylon safe and sound, the weekend could continue.  Saturday, Cara and Marques and I went to the Hill and ate at Top Chef Spike’s new burger place, Good Stuff Eatery.  Spike was there in person, and it was a really nice place — I had a bacon cheeseburger and fries with the mango mayo.  They also had Siracha mayo, which was very tasty (if not really spicy), chipotle mayo, and Old Bay mayo.  We thought the food was really good and the dining area was nice — I got to watch To Catch a Predator while waiting for my food, so thumbs up, Spike.

    Afterward, we walked to the Capitol and took lots of pictures.  Then we walked down to the Washington Monument AGAIN.  We were going to walk to the Lincoln Memorial, but Cara wanted ice cream, so we headed home and went to Old Town Alexandria and got cones.  This was good as my legs were going to fall off.  Also, there was a midnight trip to Wawa for sweet tea.  Then I introduced Cara to Guitar Hero, and after that, all I can remember is Guitar Hero.  Though we did introduce Cara to a steamy bowl of pho today, and she was greatly pleased as she loves soup and loves food you can play with.

    So Waylon is back home, Cara is still in DC (just no longer with us, sad face), it’s a calm Sunday night.  We have 10 more episode of Mad Men season 1 to watch, homemade barbecue chicken pizza is baking in the oven, and we’re going home on Thursday morning to be with our families for awhile.  This weekend started out sucking really bad and ended up on a much better note.  With tasty fries and sore thighs.

    tiny update, not so much happening here in the hood

    Published
    by
    ashley
    on March 13, 2007
    in friends, life, marques, tunes, waylon and work
    . 4 Comments

    so my job? pretty cool. today i watched 18,000 episodes of jeopardy and press your luck. also, there was this couple on the newlywed game (why isn’t that still on the air?) that had matching afros. the first day i had to make a hardware decision. picture me trying to decide between a macbook pro and a mac pro with a cinema display. POOR ME.

    the commute isn’t as bad as i expected. driving along at 70 miles per hour past gigantic semis is always fun at 8:00 in the morning. i eat granola bars, drink green tea, listen to david sedaris recount his childhood stories. marques made me an excellent mix cd for my first day, full of songs by david bowie, elton john, earth wind and fire, and other artists that are very upbeat.

    today, i drove home on route 60 because the sun was setting and i love route 60. while i was going over the culloden bridge, i saw this man throw his daughter in the air and catch her. it was amazing. i thought he would drop her.

    i also bought waylon a harness today. i have plans to take him outside for some rolling around in the grass and chasing birds. he flipped out, though, and tried to bite the harness off of him. maybe he will realize that harness equals outside, and will grow to love his restraints.

    i ate really well today. on the way to work i had a granola bar. when i got to work, i had a yogurt. for lunch i ate some baked cheetos and a turkey sandwich on wheat. i had an apple in my bag in case i got hungry, but i didn’t. and then, i got back to huntington, and stupid marques wanted to go to stewart’s hot dogs and i had two hot dogs with a cookie dough milkshake. my boyfriend loves me even when i eat poorly. he ate poorly, too, though.

    i miss him during the nights. it is very weird to fall asleep without another body next to me. however, i’m pretty sure that when the weekend rolls around, we will just stay in bed together all day because we missed it so much.

    weekend woes

    Published
    by
    ashley
    on March 4, 2007
    in apartment, cooking, life, marques and waylon
    . 0 Comments

    this past weekend was a lazy weekend.

    marques and i were going back-and-forth all week on whether or not we should go to cincinnati on friday.  on one hand, fun road trip, skyline chili, sephora, darby, apple store.  on the other hand, expensive (sephora is expensive!), waking up early, might be cold.

    we compromised because i really wanted to go on a road trip, or at the very least just go driving in general.  no cincinnati.

    however, we both woke up way too late to do anything.  and then we sat around and continued to do nothing.  finally, we left the house and went to eat at panera bread (so good!) and bought groceries.  but then we didn’t have anything to do, so we decided to drive to charleston to visit my mom and steal some of her DVDs.  and we did.  and on the way home, we ate at the 24 hour tudors.  and we got home and snuggled up and it turned out to actually be a pretty decent day.

    saturday was the day of sloth for me.  i cleaned the living room and made potato soup, but then i got caught up in zoolander (embarrassing!) and i just didn’t do anything else.  it was a nice day off in that i got to lay around on the couch all day and kiss waylon on his little furry forehead, but not a nice day off in terms of productivity.

    in case you want it, here’s my potato soup recipe.  it’s very thick and rich and creamy:

    *********************
    potato soup a la ashley

    ingredients:

    4-5 yukon gold or red potatoes baked in microwave, then chopped into cubes
    12 slices bacon (or diced ham or turkey bacon)
    1/3 cup butter (add an additional 1/4 cup if using turkey bacon or ham)
    2/3 cup flour
    2 cans chicken broth
    2 cups milk
    1/2 cup chopped green onions
    1 cup half&half (can also use another cup milk)
    1 cup sour cream (i use fat-free)
    2 cups cheddar cheese
    pepper and salt

    instructions:

    if using regular bacon, cook that until all crispety.  save the grease.  melt butter in with grease.  whisk in the flour to form a roux.  keep whisking until roux turns a golden brown.  add the chicken broth and milk.  keep whisking, it will get thicker.  let this mixture come to a boil, then add chopped potatoes and green onions.  bring to a boil again.  now add the sour cream, the half and half, and the crumbly bacon.  then add cheese and let it get all melty.  yum!

    if you use ham or turkey bacon, then just start with the 1/3 cup butter and the 1/4 cup butter in the pan and make your roux that way.  i cook my turkey bacon in the microwave.

    letters in the mail

    Published
    by
    ashley
    on January 21, 2007
    in apartment, i am ridiculous, life, marques and waylon
    . 0 Comments

    dear target,

    first off, may i say that i absolutely love these seasonal periods of times where it seems like you put everything in the whole store on clearance?  shower curtains, tableclothes, dishware, sheets, blankets, picture frames — please continue this trend, and you will have earned many of my hard-earned dollars while i try to make my apartment look like it just walked out of better homes and gardens.

    also, i’m feeling a little guilty about the cashier’s little faux pas the other night.  see, i was purchasing the following items:

    • 2 stoneware bowls, on clearance, $1.50 each.
    • a new shirt, gray-brown, long-sleeved, on clearance, $3.74
    • 1 box of trash bags, $5.50
    • 1 tin of chocolate-covered altoids on a friend’s recommendation, $2.00
    • 1 silver modern fruit-bowl, on clearance, $5.00
    • something else i can’t remember that was $5.00 too.

    so basically, my total would have been about 28 dollars.  well, the shirt i was purchasing didn’t have a tag on it, just the clearance sticker (oh i love those orange clearance stickers, filled with hope and promise).  so the cashier guy, after scanning half the items i purchased, was trying to do the shirt.  he was getting off work, and we were his last customers, so you could tell he was ready to go.  finally, he typed in some numbers, and scanned the rest of my items, and my total was $15.08.

    now, i originally didn’t realize his error.  had i realized it, i would’ve brought it to his attention.  i just figured maybe some things were cheaper than marked.  it wasn’t until everything was all bagged up and we were out the door when my boyfriend, marques, remarked, “i think you got half your stuff for free.”

    sure enough, target, you did give me half of my stuff for free.  i will chalk it up to you giving me something after the no-doubt thousands of dollars i’ve spent in your store.

    thanks again!
    -ashley

    p.s. i totally love my new purse.  it is adorable.  thank you for creating it.

    —————–

    dear waylon,

    i love you.  i love rubbing my face all over your face, and i love when you rub your face all over my face.  i love your little pawsies, and your little tail, and your little earsies, and i love your little nose except when it’s cold and wet.  i love when you get excited about something and your tail shakes it like a polaroid picture.  i love your meow-chirps, and i’m pretty sure i know what they all mean now.  i wish i could talk to you like the guy in “kafka on the shore” but i can’t, so i just have to guess that the medium chirp means “i’m hungry, feed me” and the little small chirp is “i love you too, keep rubbing under my chin.”

    however, waylon, if i come home today, and my tablecloth is on the floor along with my new free silver fruit bowl, i will be one very angry kitty-mama.  i’m just saying.  be good.

    love,
    your kitty-mama, ashley

    —————————

    dear huntington,

    why do we never get snow?  or anything fun?  is it because of global warming?  is it because there’s the “protective bubble” over huntington?  i remember when i was a sophomore, tuesday and i were driving into huntington and it was basically iced over.  and then, when lorrie and ruth ann and i lived together, i remember we were going to drive to watch a wrestling thing with zach and some other people and the roads were pure ice.  what happened to those days?  i miss snow.

    sincerely,
    your unhappy, snow-loving resident.

    ————————

    dear landlord,

    i understand that the recent emmons fire has made you a little paranoid, but this is not a good time for us to let you into our house.  it is not very clean.  we work a lot.  we care about our safety too, but i would rather not have you enter our apartment and see a stack of dirty dishes.

    sincerely,
    your tenants

    ———————-

    dear fish,

    i am sorry that you died.  not really.  but i apologize that you died because i am a bad fish-parent.  your untimely (but welcome) death has reminded me that although babies are cute, they are not for me.

    sorry again (but thanks for the reminder!),
    ashley

    ———————–

    dear marques,

    thanks for putting up with me.  i know it’s difficult.  i love you, muffintoes.

    love,
    ash

    ————————–

    dear ashley,

    stop.  just stop.

    sincerely,
    yourself.