Archive for the 'apartment' Category

My apartment is great and awful

Published
by
ashley
on November 10, 2008
in apartment, friends and top five
. 0 Comments

Top five things that annoyed me about my apartment this weekend:

1.  I hate when the weather outside is a brisk 58 degrees and then I walk into my 70 degree apartment and my glasses fog up and I immediately get hot and annoyed at the temperature, so I turn the thermostat down or off to compensate for temperature differences and then thirty minutes later, I am shivering.

2.  I had to wait for the dishwasher to finish its hour-long rinse cycle (okay, it’s not really an hour long, but it felt like it) before I could take a shower because I was concerned my apartment would run out of water.  I don’t know if that would happen, but it’s a concern of mine that I will be in the shower washing my hair and then the water runs out and I have shampoo-head.

3.  Although I generally don’t really mind my 30 minute commute into downtown, this weekend we contemplated going somewhere, but the thought of having to sit on the metro for 30 minutes was like torture in my head.  During weekdays, I like my commute because it gives me a chance to actually physically wake up.  I am not what you call a morning person - I don’t even have to be at work until like noon (journalism clearly still the best career path for me) and I still struggle with that.  I usually wake up at the last possible minute, then rush into the shower, throw some clothes on, eat a bowl of cereal while checking the weather online, put my shoes on, grab my bag and start walking to the metro.  Thirty minutes from bed to door, less if I skip some things like eating or socks.  Then once I get to the metro and get on the train, I can pop my earphones in, read the paper, take a nap and get myself ready for the day.  But on the weekends when everything is in slow-motion, I can’t bear to think about spending 30 minutes+ on the train.  No thank you.  I will just stay here and do some laundry.

4.  This morning I woke up very groggy and grumpy.  I looked around our bedroom and immediately decided it was un-feng-shui-ish so I hopped online to look up basic principles of feng shui.  Our bedroom fails in every inch of the word of failing.  I promptly sketched out a plan in my head for furniture placement but was quickly foiled by the lack of cable outlets.  Unless I want to watch television while lying on my side, or unless I want to spend the next 8 months tripping over a stray cable cord running the length of our room, our bedroom has to continue… failing.

5.  There are two aspects to our apartment that are, quite frankly, ginormous.  We have a ginormous pantry and we have a ginormous bathroom.  However, we do not have a linen closet.  When I have a monster laundry marathon day and do all the laundry I can find, when I try to put towels up on the rickety ladder shelf we bought from Ikea specifically for towels and other beauty products I don’t use (see number 3 and my streamlined thirty-minute mornings), they don’t fit.  We also have another rickety shelf in our tiny washer/dryer room that holds our sheets and blankets that is also quite full.  I don’t understand why the designers of this apartment could not have made the pantry smaller and added a linen closet, or why instead of the monstrous open area in the middle of the bathroom, they couldn’t have added some sort of storage system.  But it is annoying.

I realize that complaining about these things (dishwasher!  giant bathroom!  pantry!  laundry area!) makes me sound like a horrible person.  Here are the top five things I like about my apartment:

1.  The dishwasher is clearly necessary.  Marques and I spent a year and a half in an apartment without a dishwasher.  We never fought as much or as hard as when we fought over who had to do the dishes.  He usually lost.  I am also thankful for the counter space I have, which is good when I enter baking mode and feel the need to ice 48 sugar cookies.

2.  The washer and dryer are also important - if there is not a washer and dryer in close proximity, we have a tendency to let the clothes pile up into Laundry Mountain, and then we get so overwhelmed by Laundry Mountain that we start febrezing everything and create piles of clothing based on dirtiness.  We don’t do that anymore.

3.  I am within walking distance of a Target and Old Navy.  I’m very close driving-wise to a Trader Joe’s.  Twenty minutes to Wegman’s and Ikea.  I don’t understand how we can be in a recession when it seems like I do is spend money at these fine establishments.  If you look at my bank statement, it pretty much goes like this:

TARGET - 11/06
TRADER JOES - 11/06
WEGMANS - 11/07
TARGET - 11/08
IKEA - 11/08
TRADER JOES - 11/09
TARGET - 11/09
OLD NAVY - 11/09

Throw in rent, student loans, exorbitant cable bill and you’ve got my spending down pat.  Also yes, I really do go to Target that much.  Don’t judge me.

4.  My bathtub is awesome.  It is rotund and giant.  I will miss this bathtub when we move out of this place.  This bathtub is the kind of bathtub that little girls can swim in and pretend they are mermaids.

5.  Lots of cabinet space - there’s a whole set of cabinets I haven’t even USED yet.

So there.  Pros and cons of my apartment, based solely on this weekend.

Also, happy birthday, Ruth Ann!  I’m going to mentally dedicate my morning commute playlist to you tomorrow and jam it full of Iron Maiden, Queen, and Slayer.  Nothing says getting ready for work like some metal.  I miss your face.

Maybe I should just drink more

Published
by
ashley
on October 30, 2008
in apartment, books, friends, i am ridiculous, marques and no thanks
. 1 Comment

There are, naturally, certain times each month where I become unbearably cranky and downright difficult to deal with.

I do realize that I whine a lot in general, even when I’m not the mayor of Crankytown, but those are usually things like having to walk home from the metro or we’re out of butter pecan ice cream.

Today was a cranky day.

It started in the morning, where I had a difficult time waking up.  Marques woke me up at 5:45 a.m. while banging around in the shower.  I then fell back asleep until he woke me up at 10:10 a.m. where I growled at him, saying things like, “If you don’t leave me alone, I will eat you.”  Finally, I woke up at 10:45 (YIKES) and I rushed to get in the shower, go to work, etc.

Walking to the metro sucked.  It was cold and windy and my head hurt.  When I got to the metro, the train was too hot and I had to take my jacket off.  Then a guy who smelled like cinnamon rolls got on and sat in front of me.  Normally I would want to lick the back of that guy’s head, but cranky me kept thinking, “Did this guy bathe in cinnamon roll cologne?  Perfume that smells like baked goods should be outlawed.”

Work was fine - work is always fun for me, actually.  Though I opened my egg sandwich to find moist sticky bread (gross).  Amanda brought us cupcakes from Hello Cupcake which gave me a brief five minute vacation from Crankytown.  Though eventually I started complaining how their cupcakes are too rich.  Seriously.  If you were around me today and managed to not punch me in the face, I commend you.

(sidenote:  It’s strange that I thought their cupcakes were too rich as I am never the girl who thinks things are too rich.  If someone is all like, “Oh, woe is me, this macaroni and cheese is too rich for me to finish!” then I’m always like CHOMP CHOMP YUM.  I have no “rich” tastebuds.  But maybe I am growing some.)

On the way home, no problems.  I’m re-reading the classic graphic novel Watchmen, but was actually slightly embarrassed to pull it out in front of all these middle-aged women and men who are reading Jim Webb autobiographies and Nicholas Sparks novels.  Then I got cranky because I was afraid I would be embarrassed and inside, I’m thinking things like WHO ARE YOU, MAN, TO JUDGE MY READING MATERIAL?  Oh, “The Kite Runner”?  Yeah, welcome to 2006.  Way to be a late reader.  (I say this while reading comic books from the mid-80s)

I decide to walk home and realize that my legspan sucks.  I’m comparing my tiny bird-like steps with those of the people walking next to me.  It takes these normal people 1 and a half steps to clear a sidewalk square.  It took me 3.  I’m a pretty tall girl, 5′8″ish, and I wear a size 10-11 in shoes.  Yet I’m walking like I was forced to undergo foot binding as a young girl.  Then I became self-conscious about my tiny steps and tried to make efforts to make my steps bigger, which made me look very odd, I’m sure, to the cars driving past me.  I probably looked like a fat drunk toy soldier on weekend leave.

Home.  Marques is sleeping.  This immediately annoys me for no good reason.  I turn on Unsolved Mysteries, eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes.  There is an odd mildewy smell in the kitchen, possibly from the washer/dryer.  Get annoyed.  Attempt to throw empty box of Frosted Flakes away, but trash can is full.  Is Marques’s job.  Get annoyed.  Get annoyed at having to scrub cast-iron skillet so hard although it’s my fault for letting it sit unwashed for three days.  Get annoyed at emptying dishwasher.  Get annoyed that the first thing Marques does when he wakes up is turn on the television to Sportscenter.  Try to make Marques eat goat cheese on a Triscuit.  Get annoyed that he doesn’t like it.  Spend 30 minutes cooking dinner while Marques watches the World Series.  Get annoyed that he didn’t offer to help do anything even though he doesn’t know how to cook.  Marques didn’t offer to get me another bowl of pasta or another glass of water.  Get annoyed.  Log onto internet, read e-mail, have 3 of the same e-mails from random liberal organization.  Get annoyed.  Buy bridesmaid dress for Lorrie’s wedding, get annoyed that my coupon code didn’t work and had to buy 2 more things (jeans and a bathing suit in a size too small in one of those “Oh, by the time bathing suit season rolls around I’ll be able to fit in it” attempts) to get it over the deemed amount.  Finished “Julie and Julia”, get slightly annoyed and jealous that I don’t get to have a job where I work in my pajamas.  Marques goes to bed early.  Get annoyed.  And bored.

It would be in your best interest to stay away from me.  I either need to be punched in the face by Don Draper or I need to start drinking three glasses of wine with dinner.

My boyfriend is starting a smear campaign

Published
by
ashley
on August 31, 2008
in apartment, i am ridiculous and marques
. 2 Comments

Here are some lies about me that my boyfriend may be spreading around the universe:

1. I do not know where the dumpster is in our apartment complex.

That is not true. I do know where the dumpster is in our apartment complex. It is over there somewhere, far from our apartment. Today as were unloading the car, we saw a couple with a bag of trash walk toward the general vicinity of the dumpster and I remarked, “What a sweet girlfriend, walking with her boyfriend to the dumpster” to which I received a 5 minute rant about how I don’t even know where the dumpster is. Marques, enough with this lie. It is OVER THERE.

2. I sleep with too many pillows, a shameful, decadent amount.

This is also not true. I am simply a very particular person, and I have a difficult time sleeping on less than three pillows. I don’t think it’s a hindrance to have a PREFERENCE.

3. I watch too much Food Network.

Again, LIES. Every single time Marques gets near a remote control, the channel is immediately switched to ESPN or MASN. It is mind-numbing. When we’re watching a television show together and a commercial comes on, not three seconds pass before BLAM - SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or the Orioles game. I do not switch the channel to Iron Chef every time I get a chance. Yes, I do watch my daily dose of Good Eats and I’ve been known on occasion to watch a few episodes of Unwrapped or some kind of baking challenge, but it is nowhere near his ESPN intake.

4. I watch “Independence Day” or “Armageddon” every time it comes on television.

….. This is… not… true. Not EVERY time.

5. I do not care about identity theft.

This is not true. I am very concerned about identity theft. However, I am not so concerned that I tear up direct mail advertisements into tiny little pieces because my address and name is on it. I am not so concerned that I will be asking for a paper shredder for Christmas. I am not so concerned that I tear up every piece of paper that has entered our house, including any kind of receipt, coupon, letter, bill, carry out menus, work papers, etc. I am not OBSESSED with identity theft. But I do care. A little.

How to restart your life

Published
by
ashley
on August 19, 2008
in apartment, friends, life and marques
. 4 Comments

Tomorrow, my best friend Lorrie is packing up a U-Haul and moving her life in Brooklyn down to a tiny town in Virginia.

I know the move is hard for her, yet exciting.  In a way, I’m kind of jealous of her.  She gets to start a whole new chapter in her life and I am still stuck in the middle of my DC chapter.  I wonder how I will feel if I ever decide to move away from DC - will it be regret or happiness or ambivalence?

Marques and I have discussed moving to a smaller city, somewhere like Pittsburgh or Columbus.  Somewhere close to our families.  We don’t want to move anytime soon because we both enjoy the opportunities we have now - I really love my job, and I love the life we have here, even though it’s boring.  That’s not to say I wouldn’t love the life I would have in Columbus, living in a bigger apartment for less money, seeing my friends and family more.

It’s something we’ve been thinking of, but won’t be acted upon anytime soon.  But just thinking about it sparks excitement inside me, excitement about learning a new city, having a new routine, a new job.

I remember the day that Marques and I moved here to DC.  It was the day after Thanksgiving.  At the time, we were living in a 2 bedroom townhouse with central heat/air, washer/dryer, 1 1/2 baths.  We paid $585 a month for that townhouse.  I literally stab myself in the throat when I think about how much rent we paid for that veritable mansion.  We slept on an air mattress that night, in the living room.  The vertical blinds covering the sliding glass doors that led out to our deck let the moonlight in the emptiness of all of the rooms.  We had trouble sleeping that night, though we had spent that Thanksgiving day packing up a Penske truck instead of packing our tummies.

I wish I vividly remembered how I felt.  I’m sure I felt nervous, scared, excited, anxious.  I was 24, I had quit my crappy awful job the week before, I was moving far away from my family and I was uprooting my boyfriend, who had a good job and was happily settled.

I remember we woke up the next morning, unhappily after our tiny amount of sleep, and packed the air mattress and the tv and Waylon into the Honda.  And we drove to DC, the second time that month.  It snowed in Western Maryland, and we stopped at a gas station that smelled like a bowling alley snack bar.  I drank a lot of coffee, but still slept halfway.  The whole time, there was this tangible anticipation surrounding us in the car.  Every mile we drove was a mile closer to our new life.

I hope that is how Lorrie and her fiancee Josh feel tomorrow as they drive down the New Jersey turnpike.  They’ll stay overnight with me tomorrow evening and then continue their merry way to their new life, far from friends, far from family.  And more than anything, I hope she sleeps well tonight.

News in brief

Published
by
ashley
on August 15, 2008
in apartment, books, i am ridiculous, marques and waylon
. 0 Comments

Neighbor thinks Christmas is early this year; is crazy

While driving home from a needless Target/Giant trip, Ashley glanced up at one of the two large apartment buildings in her apartment complex.

There, in one of the windows, brightly shining for all of Northern Virginia to see, was a Christmas tree and an brightly lit animatronic reindeer moving its head.

Ashley quickly checked the date on her cell phone, concerned that maybe she had fallen into a time warp on the way to Target.  The date read August 15, 2008.

Ashley then dismissed the neighbor as “batshit insane” and vowed to bring her camera next time she drove on that road at night to capture the insanity should a court case come to trial.

Book proves to be smarter than girl

Ashley is what you would call a voracious reader.  With a quickly-growing library of books and friendly neighborhood librarians who know her by sight, it is safe to say that she has mastered the art of reading a book.

Ashley started reading books when she was a mere two years old.  She quickly learned that if you read a book faster, you can read more books.  Thus, she is able to read the average novel in a few hours.  This is both a plus and a minus, as she can read lots and lots of books, but unfortunately, is too poor to buy enough to keep up.

Ashley checked out the book “House of Leaves” from a branch of the Fairfax County library last Wednesday.  The book had been recommended to her by both Amazon and various Metafilter people.  She picked it up Sunday evening and started to read it.

Today, Friday, August 18, she finally finished it while on the ride home on the metro.  She closed the book and then frowned a frown that would shrivel a pluot.  When asked by her boyfriend, Marques, if she enjoyed the book, she wailed, “I am stupid and I didn’t understand it, but the typography was cool.”

Perks returned the offending book to the library.  While the storyline was interesting, she felt the book was too smart for her and decided she should read a fluff book to rinse her mind off.

Cat spends evening glaring at master

When Waylon snuck out of his master’s house two weeks ago, Ashley decided to buy him a collar and tag.  Her reasoning being that Waylon is the best cat in the world, and anyone who found him would obviously want to keep him.  If he had a tag on, that would reduce that likelihood.

Ashley attached the tag on the collar and fastened it on Waylon’s neck.  Immediately, Waylon began to meow plaintively, pleading with Ashley to remove the collar.  When that didn’t work, Waylon began rubbing his body all over the carpet in a vain attempt to rub the collar off.

Finally, Waylon cowered in a corner of the living room and glared at his master while she played Mario Kart and ate hummus, oblivious to the fact that her beloved monster baby cat at that moment hated her.

Local kitchen flooded with water; tenants puzzled

Two tenants in the Northern Virginia area were puzzled to find a puddle of water near their refrigerator and pantry.  They mopped it up quickly, but the water returned day after day.

“WTF is going on?” one asked, trying desperately to staunch the flow.

The two were not able to contact their landlord immediately because their apartment was too messy.  Plans are being made to clean the apartment so the maintenance crew can locate the source of the problem.

“I hope they don’t have to open the refrigerator,” one remarked.  “There are about 8 bags of baby carrots gone bad up in that mess.”

suck it, you.

Published
by
ashley
on July 7, 2008
in apartment, i am ridiculous and marques
. 0 Comments

Alas, here is a sonnet (just kidding, I don’t know how to write sonnets) about how Marques and I have lived without a vacuum for the past two years.  Seriously.  Someone call Adult Protective Services.

When Marques and I first stated dating, we lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment on a back street in Huntington.  It was very tiny.  Like 400 square feet.  Also, there was carpet in the bathroom.  Puke green carpet.  It was disgusting.  That apartment was disgusting.  I was not a very good housekeeper back then (read: ever) and so my apartment literally had a strip of bare carpet where I could walk from the bedroom to the kitchen, weaving around piles of books, clothes, video games, and the occasional old bag of Taco Bell (gotta save those mild sauces).  Seriously.  I was gross.

And then we experienced Attack of the Killer Fleas.  Honestly.  I mean, it was like we lived in medieval London with the fear of the plague looming around every corner.  The carpet was a shag brown so the fleas were all about hanging out in there, burrowing into the netting and laying millions of eggs.  So when we would step on the carpet, 6 fleas would jump all over our feet.  It was miserable.  If we had not still been on that euphoric high that you get when you first start dating someone, we probably would’ve broken up with each other because we both blamed each other for the fleas.  I blamed him because before he moved in, there were no fleas.  He blamed me because, well, I am gross and disgusting.  Neither of us thought to blame Waylon.

Anyway.  I asked my mom for a vacuum for Christmas.  She bought me one.  We tried it out.  It wasn’t that great.  It sucked, but not literally.  And since then, we’ve been living without a vacuum.  It wasn’t that big of a deal when we were living in that creaky pre-war apartment with the original hardwood floors (gorgeous!  i miss that apartment!) but now that we’re living in a pre-fab apartment with original beige carpet, it is a VERY big deal.  I took a picture of Waylon the other day:

You can’t really tell in this tiny version, but you can literally see specks of crap all over the carpet.  That’s awful.  You can see a big speck next to his ear.  Our carpet was so dirty and gross that you could SEE the specks of stuff.  Awful.

And then the ants showed up.

Marques freaked out about the ants.  He went on nervous cleaning binges and kept his eyes glued to the floor, scanning the carpet for a tiny moving speck.  So we finally decided, since we’re going to be living in this apartment for another year, to suck it up (literally this time) and buy a damn vacuum.

And we did.  We bought a Kenmore something or other.  I can’t remember off the top of my head.  And we brought it home and we vacuumed for the first time in 8 months.  It was glorious.  And gross.  At the same time.  And now we are vacuuming fools.  Because not only did we vacuum the carpet, but we also decided to rearrange our living room into a more pleasing arrangement.  Now it looks like the living room is an actual living room.  We’re really pleased with the way everything worked out.

And I saw Wall-E and cried for like 20 minutes.  That robot is so cute, I can’t help it.  I want one for Christmas.

back in black

Published
by
ashley
on September 24, 2007
in apartment, i am ridiculous and life
. 0 Comments

a lot happened this summer, more than i care to write about. so i think i will chalk this up as a lost summer and start from the fall.

however, we did move. we found a new apartment, and it’s much nicer than our old apartment. and quieter. no more david bowie midnight playlists.

the other day, i got to go to the annual pumpkin festival media dinner. i ate about 56 pieces of pumpkin fudge. i am a pumpkin-a-holic. and i am now officially ready for fall, for cool evenings where you need to wear a jacket, and leaves turning colors. when i was younger, surrounded by mountains full of trees that were red, yellow, green and brown, i always thought they looked like a bowl of fruity pebbles.

i love fruity pebbles. they are an excellent cereal.

anyway, since things have calmed down greatly, i can find some time to write more, which is exciting.