Monthly Archive for November, 2008

Things that I am thankful for, in the spirit of the holiday

1.  I am thankful every single day that I have all of my fingers, all of my toes, both of my arms and both of my legs.  I realize this is a silly thing to be thankful for, but I am lucky to have all of these extremities (especially since I hate wearing gloves).  My grandfather lost two of his toes in an accident when I was very young and I can remember staring at the shiny scar tissue, both awed and repulsed at the same time.  I am also a pretty independent person, so I would be quite unhappy having Marques open my peanut butter jar for the rest of my life.  So yes.  Thankful for fingers and toes and arms and legs.

2.  I am thankful to have a boyfriend who would spend the rest of our lives opening my peanut butter jars should any sort of accident befall me.  He would probably even make me a peanut butter sandwich if I asked him nicely.

3.  I am thankful that I have a body that it is working condition with no diseases or illnesses aside from the occasional common cold and , and that I escaped my college years without any sexually transmitted diseases, stomach pumpings from alcohol, or babies.

4.  I am thankful that I have a good job that I enjoy, with a really awesome boss and amazing, hilarious coworkers who like to talk about food as much as I do, and will eat all of my baked goods, even the ones I burn.  I know that there are a lot of people who have jobs that they don’t enjoy, so I feel doubly-thankful that I have never once dreaded going to work while I’ve worked here.  Except on days when it was 95 degrees outside, but that wasn’t really because of work, that was just because I didn’t want to be a sweatmonster while walking to the metro.

5.  I am thankful for Chuck Taylors.  I have been wearing them for quite a long time and this extended period of time has worn any natural foot arch down to nothing.  My feet are essentially duck feet without webbed toes.  So I am thankful for Chuck Taylors for continuing to support my flat feet… which they caused.

6.  I am thankful for kittens and puppies and sneezing panda cubs for being so adorable and providing me many hours of entertainment while at work.  Also LOLcats.

7.  I am thankful for my best friends, who still talk to me after all of these years.  They are all beautiful and fun and so funny and easy to talk to and there are no other people in this world I would rather drink a pitcher of margaritas with.

8.  I am thankful for food, in that I enjoy making it and eating it.  I love cooking and baking things - just last night, I made a giant pot of chili and a giant pan of coconut macaroons for my Mom as a Thanksgiving surprise (I was originally going to make them for Christmas, but I got too excited and made them last night).  I love trying new restaurants and new foods and I love McDonald’s ice cream cones (guilty pleasure).  I am very glad that we do not live in an age of Soylent Green and foods in pill form, even though that would be kind of cool and very sci-fi.

9.  I am thankful for David Bowie.  David Bowie is what I listen to when I feel like dancing.

10.  And of course, I am thankful for my family, who I get to see this weekend.  I have a small family, but it’s fun and not stuffy and not the kind of family that pressures you to go to Yale and not the kind of family that puts out wine and cheese for the holidays.  My family is the kind of family that you play Mario Kart on the wii and argue over board games.  I am really glad that I have the type of family I do, despite all frustrations (my grandma asks 56 questions to everyone, my mom texts me constantly and sends me picture messages of her cats).

So with those ten things, I am out.  I am leaving to go home tomorrow morning, spending 6 hours on the road.  I will spend my time seeing old j-school friends, my best friends, eating Thanksgiving dinner, baking cakes, watching movies with my mom, shopping and being pretty happy.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Now as you close your eyes, know I’ll be thinking about you (Derrick’s Roll Arena)

It is important to note that I am currently listening to “Bed of Roses” by Bon Jovi.  And at this point in time, I feel as if I should be couple-skating around the roller rink.

I pretty much spent a lot of my elementary and junior high school weekends at the roller rink (Derrick’s Roll Arena), skating in the worn leather skates, upgrading to Rollerblades when those became popular.  Playing Red Light, Green Light (to this day, I remember the rules and am still bitter about the one time my finger twitched and the referee called me out on it) and Ghostbusters (they played the “Ghostbusters” theme song and you had to turn around every time the song said “Ghostbusters!”) and then the infamous couple skate, where a romantic song would play (a favorite was “Bed of Roses”) and you could skate around with your crush of the moment or just your best friend (though generally the girls who skated together were looked down upon with derision).  Every time they announced couple skate, all the girls would exit onto the slippery ocean blue concrete floor and sit on the carpeted benches that lined the walls, waiting for the boys who were usually on the other side of the rink, playing Mortal Kombat (my elementary school memories are forever haunted by “FINISH HIM”… and Sub-Zero was totes my favorite character).

So to this day, every time I hear “Bed of Roses”, I always think of the roller rink, and the gross sweat smell, and how one time I slipped in the bathroom and fell down (those concrete floors were stupidly slippery) and how in 5th grade during a Red Light, Green Light, I fell and sprained my wrist and it was all purple and bruised and gross for weeks, and how the roller rink employee felt sorry for me while he waited for my mom to come pick me up, so he gave me a free piece of pizza (and believe me, Derrick’s pizza was the best, it was like school pizza only BETTER).

I feel sorry for all these kids now who have never gotten to roller skate in a rink.  The roller rink I skated in closed maybe 7 or 8 years ago, and is now a storage center of some sorts.  If I was a bajillionaire, I would definitely open a roller rink where kids could skate for free and make all of the songs old 80s and 90s songs and every time it was couple skate, it would be a Bon Jovi song (rotating between “Always” and “Bed of Roses”).  This is now on my life list of goals.  Open roller rink, play Bon Jovi.

Things I learned this week

1. So Lorrie and I have unofficially decided to make this Christmas a handmade Christmas, because I am poor and cannot afford gifts for everyone. This means that I am really itching to make Marques something hilarious. I was originally thinking of an Domokun ipod case, but since his ipod is just a little baby nano, there’s really not a point in that because I would just be the one to use it. So it would almot be like I made my own Christmas present.

So then I was thinking, maybe I could just make him something related to the tv shows that we watch together. And thus, my “Oh, I’ll make a Doctor Who-related craft!” idea was born. So I searched for craft ideas. My original idea was to make an ipod case (I KNOW, what is with my and the ipod case. It’s pretty much the only thing I know how to make) in the shape of the Tardis but again, that’s pointless. I found this website with TONS of ideas…. so baby, if you get a Doctor Who craft from me this Christmas, this is where I got it from.

2. Also things I’m interesting in making or buying: zombie knitted dolls.

3. We can make a woolly mammoth for only like 10 million dollars. Jeff Bezos, WHERE ARE YOU? Divert some of your space funds into this project. It would be like Jurassic Park only with no raptors.

4.  I held up to my promise and I did NOT go see the Twilight film at midnight last night.  I didn’t want to wait in the cold and I didn’t want to spend it surrounded by squealing fourteen-year-old girls.  I’m glad I didn’t go because this roundup of Twilight reviews is… a little harsh.

5.  I find that I have this frantic “zomg, we have to cut HBO from our cable bill” moment every time I think about our finances.  Like the extra $15 a month is breaking us.  I never think, “We should not go to Dairy Godmother every weekend” or “I should not be buying this scarf”, it’s always “OMG HBO!”.  I suppose I think of HBO as a luxury, but I don’t think of scarves or frozen custard as a luxury even though they essentially are.  This Jezebel post was really interesting (I also do not consider tampons so much a luxury as I do a constant annoyance) and it was entertaining reading what people won’t give up.  As for me, I would never give up internet access, Netflix, or ice cream.

6.  This zombie website is very informative.

7.  This weekend, I will attempt to make these caramels.  Attempt being the key word here.  I once tried to make hard candy and ended up having to throw away a baking pan.

8.  These Jack Bauer facts are pretty funny.

9.  For me, Sarah Palin is essentially off my radar.  It’s not something I’m too concerned about.  But I did enjoy this list of 22 questions to ask Sarah Palin.

10.  These Joan Holloway paper dolls - want please.  Joan Holloway has the type of body I would probably kill puppies for.  I’d kill a (sick) kitten for her wardrobe, too.

There are few things I want from this life, and Jack Bauer is one of them

Honestly, I never thought I would be the target audience for Jack Bauer’s kickassery.  We started watching 24 because Marques wanted to watch it, and I went along reluctantly (also, I had made him sit through 5 seasons of Six Feet Under, my favorite tv show, and while I love Six Feet Under, it’s not very actiony).

The problem with 24 is that, for me, no season will be as good as the first season is.  Every season after that season has the same recycled storylines (there’s a mole in CTU!  CTU is being attacked!  Jack Bauer is breaking the rules and doing what he wants to do!  The CTU leader is incompetent!) and after awhile, it gets annoying.

Also, 24 has completely redefined my outlook on torture.  I’m a staunch liberal, the kind of person who gets all up in arms about civil liberties, the kind of person who subscribes to like 18 e-newsletters by nonprofits, the kind of person who would normally be like “zomg, torture!”  And while I’m still against torture, I’m NOT against torture by Jack Bauer.  I would be totally cool with torture as long as it’s performed by Jack Bauer.

In general, I am a big fan of any movie, book, video game or television show that depicts an epic disaster.  Zombie revolution, nuclear attack, asteroids, whatever.  So for that reason, I love 24, especially in season 6 when they actually let a nuclear bomb go off in Los Angeles.  That was the highlight of that season.

I am pretty excited to watch the 24 movie on Sunday night, but am hoping that it won’t be lame.  I’m hoping that Audrey won’t be in it (could there be a more pointless character?) and I’m hoping that Chloe is there, being awesome, and I’m hoping that Jack Bauer tortures some African rebels and destroys their compound using loads of explosives.  That’s all a girl can hope for, really.

Also, Harry Connick, Jr. is probably the lamest guy in the world.  I can’t say I’ve ever liked anything Harry Connick has done.  Ever.

Let me tell you a little something about today

Today was not fun.  Today was a stressful day, a day with not enough food, not enough water and not enough Watchmen-trailer-watching time.

What good is a job with high-speed internet if I can’t spend the day watching trailers to upcoming movies I want to see?

First, let me talk about the Bond movie, which Marques made me go see.  Though to be fair, I owed him for dragging him to Be Kind, Rewind (What?  I like Gondry) which he HATED and spent the next month reminding me how much he hated it.  So we’re at the movie, which I didn’t hate, surrounded by people, and I lean over and whisper to Marques, “If they show the new Watchmen trailer, it’s possible I will pee my pants.”

“Haven’t you watched it enough already?” he whispered back.

This is true.  I watched it maybe ten times on the internet.  God bless the internet.

“No!” I whispered fiercely.

And then, like magic, like fate, the trailer was shown, and I did not pee my pants though I bounced in my seat a few times.  Bounce bounce Dr. Manhattan bounce Nite Owl bounce bounce motherf-ing Rorschach!

And then they played the Star Trek trailer, which I kind of thought was an advertisement for some energy drink in the beginning.  I mean, if this supposed to be so far into the future, it seems wrong that baby Kirk would be driving a CAR and not some sort of hovercar.  Speaking of hovering things, I am also upset that we still don’t have hoverboards, Back to the Future 2.

But the Star Trek trailer looked pretty decent, and bonus, directed by J.J. Abrams, who honestly, I only like because of the vortex that is Lost, but still.  Also, my strange obsession with all things Zachary Quinto will cement the fact that I will probably go see the Star Trek movie, BUT BUT BUT I will probably not be one of those nerds that goes to see it at midnight.  Probably.

Also on my radar, three films are coming out that are in my favorite movie genre - the disaster/apocalyptic genre.  First, The Day the Earth Stood Still (which has Don Draper in it, hopefully smoking and holding in secrets the entire time) which I am lukewarm about because I really hate Keanu Reeves, I think he has the acting ability of a wooden board.  Then The Road.  Now I’ll be honest, I’ve read quite a bit of Cormac McCarthy, and when Oprah announced The Road was on her book club last year, I was like… are you kidding?  Millions of middle-aged women are going to read about people eating babies?  Excellent.  But I’m kind of looking forward to watching it, baby barbecue aside, because of my deep love for all things post-apocalyptic.

And then 2012, which I had NEVER HEARD ABOUT UNTIL YESTERDAY.  It has John Cusack in it, apparently, which means two loves of mine together in one film.  It’s like a dream come true.

I’m not even going to talk about the Twilight movie.  My best friend Tina asked me to read the books over the summer so she could have someone to talk about them with, so I did because I’m a fast reader.  Sidenote, I am totally on Team Edward.  Anyway, the Twilight movie comes out this weekend and Marques has graciously offered to take me, but honestly, I kind of don’t want to be the oldest person in the theater.  Also I hate 15 year old girls and I hate squealing and giggling.  It annoys me.  And I know that the first time Edward Cullen pops on the screen, all the girls in the theater will be like OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  So no Twilight for me this weekend.

Today was a really stressful day so it’s nice to write about things that are not stressful, like cheesy science fiction movies I want to see.

(Also, on this week’s Things I Learned, be prepared for an influx of Doctor Who-related things)

Okay, so I’ll be the one to say it

When I first read that an AP reporter was covering my college town and home for 6 years, dubbing it the “fattest city in America”, my first thought was, “Come on, I moved away from there a year ago, surely I must have made some statistical difference?”

But clearly not.  The story went live today on the wire and I read it here on MSNBC.  It pretty much infuriated me as a former resident of this poor, toothless, stupid obese town.

Huntington is not a great city.  It is a city that is riddled with petty crime and fighting a losing battle with drugs.  It has a failing economy, a city where educated people take $6.50/hr retail jobs because there’s nowhere else for them to work.  It’s a suitcase campus city that falls asleep during the summer when Marshall students aren’t there.  It has beautiful architecture and pleasant streets and the best motherf’ing cheese wontons in the world.

I, for one, felt this article was written with preconceived notions of what a town in West Virginia is like.  The lede itself veers on offensive - “As a portly woman plodded ahead of him on the sidewalk, the obese mayor of America’s fattest and unhealthiest city explained why health is not a big local issue.” Plodded?  Because you know, all portly women in this world plod along.  I’m surprised they didn’t say something like “As the completely disgusting fat person wheezed and waddled on the sidewalk, desperately straining to catch one more gasp of air into her already overtaxed lungs.”

Look, I’m not a pro-fattie.  I don’t do the whole fat equality thing.  But I think there’s a fine line between descriptive language and poking fun at a fat person.

I often wonder if stories like this really wake a person up.  Because for me, they don’t.  It’s not like I read a story like this and think “Oh my gosh, I am totally fat!”  Because honestly?  It’s not like I don’t know that already.  It’s not like I’m out there walking around thinking that I weigh 120 pounds and man, I look good in this tube top.

The article goes on to say that one possibility of obesity is the West Virginia culture, where we all apparently eat fried meats laden with gravy.  Hm.  No.  That was not my diet when I lived in Huntington.

Let’s continue.  “Many workers lack health insurance, and corporate wellness programs — common at large national companies — are rare.”

This is true.  I had health insurance for one and a half years after I turned 21.  I have health insurance now, but there was quite a large scary gap when I didn’t.  As far as corporate wellness programs, well, since there are so few large national companies in Huntington, I can see why something of that nature would fail.

“In the hilly coal fields to the South, people still live in houses or trailers with drooping, battered roofs.” - This is also true.  I was lucky enough to stay in the main parts of West Virginia when I lived there - Charleston and Huntington.  Though my last job, I had to travel to a smaller, poorer county everyday.  There were places on the side of the road that I couldn’t believe people actually lived there - tiny one room shacks with roughshod tin roofs and windows covered in cardboard.  West Virginia is a very poor state, and it shows the hardest when you go into its poorest counties.

“They stare hard at any stranger in a new car.” - UGH.  This is not true.  Come on.  We are not aborigines.  If we’re staring at your car, maybe we’re staring because it’s that ugly shade of yellow that so many people think is cool nowadays.  Or maybe we’re staring because you’re driving 5mph on the winding, mountainous roads that weave through southern West Virginia.  We’re not staring in wonder at this ‘magical moving machine’.  And as a sidenote, people in West Virginia, especially southern West Virginia, are the friendliest freaking people in the world.  Every time you pass someone, it’s like a state law that you must wave or smile or nod your head.  Otherwise you get billed as that uppity asshole who can’t drive.

“Hot dog places also abound, with the city hosting an annual hot dog festival every summer.” - Okay, this is one thing I never understood about Huntington, it’s obsession with hot dogs.  I don’t do hot dogs, it’s rare for me to eat one.  But there are like 5 hot dog places in Huntington.  And everybody wants their hot dog with this runny chili sauce and it’s kind of gross.  But I have to say - why vilify the fact that Huntington has a hot dog festival?  Are fat towns not allowed to have festivals?  Why didn’t the reporter mention that the hot dog festival also has a 5k (adorably called the Bun Run) that is popular to participate in?  Would this have been mentioned if Huntington hosted an annual lettuce festival?  I mean, it’s not like Huntington is the host of the funnel cake festival (holy crap, I would never have moved had that been the case) or the chocolate doughnut festival.  Ugh.

(And on another side note, one of the more popular hot dog places in Huntington was a place called Hillbilly Hot Dogs [hate hate hate the name] where if you sang the Weenie song by heart, you could get a free hot dog.  This was amazingly popular and I still know most of that stupid song, but I can’t remember who our 9th president was.)

“During a warm and sunny autumn week in Huntington — the kind of weather that would bring out small armies of joggers in some cities — it was unusual to see a runner or bicyclist.” - I have to wonder if this reporter was in the wrong part of Huntington during this time.  There’s a park in Huntington called Ritter Park that is constantly (seriously, constantly) filled with people walking their dogs or jogging.  Huntington itself is not a really pedestrian-friendly city, nor does it have an adequate mass transit system, so everyone basically drives everywhere.  As far as walking, that’s fine, but you have to take your chances on someone running over you while you try to cross the street.

I don’t know about Ritter Park these days - my best friend lives in Huntington in that area, two blocks up, and has been the victim of some crime these days.  So maybe people weren’t out exercising for fear of mugging.  Also, I would hardly call Ritter Park a tony neighborhood.  We lived on the outskirts of the Ritter Park area in our second apartment and believe me, it was not a tony place.

And I have to laugh at this a little:

“Other communities have taken more ambitious steps to control the amount of fat in local restaurant food. In July, the Los Angeles City Council placed a moratorium on new fast food restaurants in an impoverished area of the city with above-average rates of obesity. In 2006, New York City became the first U.S. city to ban artificial trans fats in restaurant foods.” - You’re comparing two of the largest cities in the country to a town with not even 50,000 people in it?  Like these “communities” are just DOWN THE STREET?  Come on.  Huntington wouldn’t pass any sort of moratorium on new fast food restaurants because those restaurants bring jobs (albeit low-paying ones) to people and that’s something Huntington needs.  As far as trans-fats, I’m pretty sure the majority of restaurants these days have already eliminated trans fats since the great Trans Fat Scare of 2005.  I mean come on, everything in the grocery store has NO TRANS FATS on it.  Is this really still that big of an issue?

There are lots of reasons that people are fat.  There are emotional reasons, medical reasons, genetic reasons, laziness reasons, diet reasons, etc.  For me, it’s essentially a unnatural love for all things carbohydrate coupled with genetics and a smidge of laziness (though I do eat somewhat healthy and also exercise regularly).  West Virginians have a poor stereotype to other states - backwards, fat, toothless, dumb.  It’s hard to tell someone you’re from West Virginia because you’re always waiting for the cliche response - “But you’re wearing shoes!”  Oh haha, lordy be, look at that, I must have decided to get dressed up today.

However, it seems that lately, every day, there’s an article about the nation’s fattest state, or the ten worst drinks in America, or kids are fat because of video games (that last one might true, I logged quite a bit of hours playing Sega Channel in the 90s).

I mean, look, I get that there’s an obesity crisis (uh, how could I not?), but do we have to have this shoved down our throats every ten minutes?  Has this obesity crisis lessened since the media decided we need to hear how fat we are constantly?  People lose weight when they want to lose weight - that’s how it happens.  Sometimes people watch a “World’s Fattest Woman” tv show on TLC and think, “Uhhhh… yeah, time for me to hit the treadmill.” (World’s Fattest Women shows always work for me.  I usually get like 3 weeks of eat-a-salad motivation out of one of those episodes)

I guess I just don’t understand the constant need to tell us how unhealthy we are.  Clearly it’s not kicking in.  You can show us the 20 Worst Foods in America but some people are still going to eat them.  You can put calories on menus (something I am a huge proponent of as I am calorie-obsessed) but people will still order 600 calorie drinks.  Nothing is going to change until people decide it’s time for a change.  You want a healthier nation?  Lower the cost of healthy food.  Provide neighborhood recreation centers with free gym equipment.  Offer small tax writeoffs to families who start a garden.  Create neighborhood gardens in cities where people can pitch in to maintain it and take a small box of produce every week, sort of like a CASA.  Start nutrition education early, explain to kids why it’s better to eat an apple instead of 3 Oreos.  Ban high-fructose corn syrup.

Even still, with changes of that caliber, there will still be people who refuse to eat vegetables (my boyfriend, he is one of them… and skinnier than me) and there will still be people who refuse to go the gym.  But these changes will also help people - if I had had access to a free gym while I lived in Huntington, I would’ve gone in two seconds (maybe).  I lived in an apartment so I couldn’t start a garden (though I desperately wanted to and still do), but I would’ve gladly hoed a row of zucchini to get free vegetables every week.  When I was in elementary school, the closest thing to a fruit at snacktime was a Fruit Roll-Up.

I was originally annoyed with this article and still am a bit.  I feel that it portrays Huntington unfairly and also paints the picture that we’re all running around, jiggling and toothless.  But then I have to think - if this article helps at least some people become healthier, if it leads them to a healthier lifestyle, if this is their World’s Fattest Woman show, then that’s great.  I just wish that the people of Huntington could have been spared the embarrassment.

I am the pickiest fat girl you’ll ever meet

I am what you would call an adventurous eater.  I enjoy trying new restaurants, new dishes, new things.  But there are some things that I find incredibly disgusting, and even though I continue walking down their treacherous paths (face it, I never learn anything), I’m always back at the end, gagging.  Here are a few things I can’t stand to eat (or drink):

1.  Any sort of organ meat. I can eat it, sure, but in my head, I get grossed out.  Not because it’s organ meat, but basically because this one time, I was watching the Food Network, I think Iron Chef maybe?  Or maybe Top Chef?  And somebody said that you have to soak kidneys in water for like hours or they’ll taste like pee.  Now everytime I’m presented with an organ meat option, I immediately jump back to that scene and think OMG PEE and instead go with the chicken.

2.  Yogurt, pudding, especially Jello. This is new for me, because I have always loved yogurt and one of my favorite desserts as a kid was pistachio pudding.  I was never a fan of Jello, but I would usually eat it if it was served.  There’s something about the gloppiness that turns me off, the mouthfeel.  A lot of people would consider it “creamy” but I consider it “disgusting”.  I try to eat yogurt anyway, though, because it’s good for me, though I usually try to go with a Greek yogurt or the Yoplait Whips kind.  I stay far away from pudding and I haven’t touched a bowl of Jello since I was a wee girl.

3.  Fish with bones and skin. Actually, any kind of meat with bones, but fishbones are really disgusting to me.  I’m not one of those people who are all like “No, I don’t know want to know that this piece of flesh I am eating is from a living creature!”  I grew up on a farm and there were plenty of people that surrounded us that had cattle they raised for slaughter.  I get that the meat I buy in styrofoam packages is from a living creature.  I just prefer that there be no bones.  Fishbones are the worst - I hate picking around the bones.  And the skin!  When I was 13, we went to a seafood restaurant and I ordered some sort of fish and it came out with the skin on it.  I didn’t know any better, so I ate like half the skin before someone told me I shouldn’t.

As far as meat on the bone, it also grosses me out.  Especially chicken, though I do make an exception for pollo a la brasa.  For this reason, I don’t eat fried chicken, I don’t eat chicken wings and I don’t eat T-bone steaks.  I don’t like the connective tissue and the veins…. oh man, the veins.  Just thinking about it makes me want to hurl, seriously.

4.  Corned beef hash. Every New Year’s Day, my mom would cook a giant pot of corned beef and cabbage (also not a favorite of mine).  Then she would take the leftovers and make corned beef hash, which I absolutely HATE.  The smell of it, the taste of it, everything about it makes me gag.  I hate watching any tv show that features corned beef hash prominently (Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, I’m looking at you) because I instantly flashback to 6 year old me, sitting at the breakfast bar in our kitchen, staring at a plate of crispy crunchy mushy corned beef hash that my mom had just made.  I have not eaten a plate of corned beef hash since I was 6.

5.  Grapefruit and coffee. There a lot of people in this world that start their mornings off with grapefruit and coffee.  My grandma used to, and I always found it odd.  I love oranges and citrus fruits but I cannot stand grapefruit - not even with sugar on it.  As for coffee, I can and will drink it, but it has to have so much milk and sugar in it that it probably doesn’t even count as coffee when I’m done with it.

6.  Sweet potatoes. I have tried and tried and tried to like sweet potatoes.  I’ve eaten them as chips, baked with brown sugar and honey, mashed, and french fried.  I like them as french fries, but everything else can go.  Every year around this time, I always contemplate buying a sweet potato and then I remember how much I hate them.

7.  Meat in the morning. Oh my gosh, no.  Please do not serve me bacon, sausages, ham, steak, pork chop, whatever in the morning.  I will eat cold pizza in the morning, leftover lo mein noodles, cereal, a piece of bread, a chunk of cheese, whatever.  But do not try to serve me a full breakfast.  Also, no on the eggs.  I occasionally get a craving for a fried egg sandwich, but that’s maybe once every few months.  I am not a breakfast person except for, of course, cereal.

8.  Juice. I don’t like any sort of fruit juice except apple juice and even then, it has to be watered down.  But my goodness do I love sugar-free Kool-Aid with no nutritional value.

9.  My biggest food hates are probably mushrooms and bell peppers. At one point, I actually told my dear friend Cara that I hate these two things more than rapists.  I cannot STAND roasted red peppers, portabella sandwiches, stuffed mushrooms, anything with these things.  I always force myself to eat something with one of these ingredients and I am always heartily sorry after I do it.

10.  Wine. It’s almost a blasphemy that I say this, but I can’t get behind wine.  I’ve had two wines in my life that I enjoyed and both were local wines.  I don’t drink very often, either, so that could be the reason.  I always want to drink wine and everytime we go into Trader Joe’s, I always think about buying a bottle but every time that I do, I drink two sips, shudder, and pour the rest down the drain.  We have dusty wine glasses in our cabinet that I bought, hoping that we could be wine-o-philes.  Give me a glass of cherry Kool-Aid anyday.