So next week I go back home to Charleston to visit my friends and family, whom I haven’t seen since March. Well, I did see my mom for a weekend in May, but I haven’t seen anyone since March and this is a severe problem as I sincerely miss them all.
Going back home is both good and bad. It’s good because I get to see everyone, and revisit all of my favorite places like Rio and my grandma usually cooks me something delicious to eat. But bad because it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. Since I moved out of my mom’s house for college, the house I spent my formative teen years doesn’t really feel like my house. My room still has all of the posters in it, though, and it’s pretty embarrassing to hang out in a room full of Billy Corgan and Reel Big Fish pictures.
But my mom piled everything in the free world on my rusty old daybed (DAYBED. ack. I was not cool) so now whenever I go home, I have to either sleep on the couch or on an air mattress. Neither of these options are particularly fun. Also, it seems like my grandma and my mom almost fight over where I sleep that night. This week, my grandma tried to bribe me by saying if I stayed at her house, I would get to sleep in the bed and she would sleep on the chaise lounge. BRIBERY.
I have a wedding to go to that weekend which I am surprisingly looking forward to, as the bride is a genuinely sweet and very cool person and I think her wedding would be really fun. Plus, a lot of her friends will be there, and I used to be friends with those people back in high school so I’ll get to see them too. I tried to buy a cute little embroidered cotton dress from Old Navy for the ceremony but apparently, Old Navy sizes are made for gargantuan Amazon women because the size I normally wear in pants? The neckline of the dress fell UNDER my boobs. So either my breasts have shrank (possibility?) or Old Navy sizing is messed up. I tried to exchange it for a size smaller, and was looking forward to it but unfortunately, was brutally rebuffed by it being too big AGAIN.
Also, don’t get all excited because you think I’ve lost weight. Oh no. See, I thought that too. I put the dress on and was overjoyed (also sad) that it didn’t fit because I’m like WHOO HOO size-I-fit-into-before-the-devil-Depo! I haven’t worn anything with that size in a looooong time. And I’m dancing around, giddy with happiness. I think to myself, “There’s no need to try these jeans on, they won’t even fit! Maybe I can go a size SMALLER! My cereal diet works!” But then I put the jeans on (in the bigger size) and died a little death of mortification and disappointment.
Then I ate a Reese’s cup.
I do wish there was some kind of zapper where I could lose about 80 pounds before next weekend. Like a laser or even some sort of genie that would grant me a wish (that wasn’t more wishes, of course, because everyone thinks of the more wishes).
Also, it is ridiculously hot here in DC, so all of you people who live in temperate zones like the Pacific Northwest, I am jealous of you. As I was preparing myself for the mile home from the Metro, I put my hair in a ponytail, shouldered my messenger bag squarely on my shoulder, walked out of the train car, and instantly became drenched in sweat. As soon as I walked through my door, I peeled off my clothes and stood in front of the fan for 10 minutes. Hot weather, I hate you.
And back on the subject of going home, I am trying to plan our route home in a most Sonic-efficient manner. So we can make sure to stop at every Sonic (or Sheetz or WaWa) in our 300 miles. I think it’s an awesome plan, but Marques? Not so much.
